improbablenotimpossible | IC Inbox for daybreakacademy

[He feels it - that hand on his shoulder, grounding him, trying to comfort - and he gives a sob before choking it back in.]

Ha - I-I'm sorry, I've only...been talking about myself this whole time...I know these years m-must have weighed on you as well....

[It's an out - an attempt to run, for even in this vulnerable state he's violating everything he's ever been told or told himself through the years.

Keep it up, don't let anyone know, just forget those issues, you have to be strong enough to handle them yourself.]

Listening to me prattle on like this....I'm sorry, it must be boring, if not infuriating.

[He gave the shoulder a squeeze]

Don't apologize.

[The words came out much firmer than he planned, pausing before closing his eyes, continuing to push through. Part of him feels like he's doing something wrong, pushing through even when given the signal of their time that they're on the dangerous ground called vulnerability.]

I - had my share, of things... but, you needed someone to hear this, that's why we're talking. There is nothing infuriating about it.

[For a long moment, he just - stares, eyes wide, shocked into silence.

He'd never allowed anyone to hear this, fully - Jolyne had gotten the careful version of events, the gentler recounting that didn't have his emotions wrapped up in it - but being told by someone who had also grown up in the same time period that it was okay to talk about it, to not have to apologize for the gross breach of misconduct....

It's enough to break that final straw, and he...just lets go, breaking down into great heaving sobs as he can't stop himself from finally just crying about everything that's happened.

Even though he's physically fighting against it - gritted teeth, firmly pressing his hands over his eyes - it's like trying to stop an open dam with just yourself.

He can't stop this anymore, even if he tried.]

[Even with opening up, and everything - seeing Moriarty break down was startling, the sobs, the way he curls up. The part of him that had fallen back on their upbringing, the thing he clung to was recoiling from the sight.

No - he told himself, that has to stop. They had to stop it, or less nothing will ever change. Another hand reaches out, more firmly - though he can't quite get rid of the uncertain tremble, reaching to hold the man steady.

Damn it - he could feel his own eyes starting to burn... not now.]

[And with that, Moriarty does something that's practically unthinkable - something that he would never do if his barriers already weren't completely down.

He gives a loud cry and pitches forward, heedless if he ends up on the floor of the infirmary - to rest his knees on the floor and wrap his arms around Sherlock, burying his head into the other man's shoulder and sobbing like a child.

...Because, well...he was a child when he was allowed to cry like this, clinging to someone so tightly as if he never wanted to let go.]

[As James - his twin suddenly buries his face against him, Sherlock made a soft, startled noise that sounded too much like a squeak to his own ears, his lips wavering as his arms were held apart awkwardly.

If they were both mortals, he had no doubt he would've ended up on his back, it was only by his vampiric nature he's still upright. And damned that nature, he could feel himself wanting to well up, between the feedback of James' outpouring of emotions and his own, as he bit his lip hard to hold back.

It... really shouldn't matter, not now - but there's still something holding him back, as his arms lightly looped over the man's back]

[He can't stop - but inbetween a loud gulp of air, he manages to look up at Sherlock and see the way he's still holding himself back.

And...no. No, if they're going to do this, then....everything should come out. No trying to be strong, not in this moment.]

S-Sherlock....stop. D-don't...it's al-alright, to....finally let it out....

[Of course, that's all he can get out before the wave hits again, and he goes back to pressing his face back where he had it before, shoulders shaking with the effort of getting out over a century of tears.]

[His shoulders hitches, as the sensation of something sharp piercing one's lips ebbed, then a soft sniffle could barely be heard, as a trickle of blood starts to flow down his cheek.

God damn... he swallows the lump that formed in his throat, continuing to sniffle as the tears, once started starts flowing easily]

[It's an odd sense of relief, when Sherlock finally starts crying as well. He's heedless of the blood, just -

This is what they've both needed for a long, long time - and something they never let themselves do.

Just let it all out, with no fear, no internal sense of shame. Only the emotions, and the knowledge that despite everything...

...despite the past, and all the pain, they both had someone who would never give up on them, or judge them now.

When the tide of emotion finally subsides, moriarty raises his head, eyes limmed with red and doing the snotty sniffles that only come with true, hard sobbing.]

...Ah. It's - odd to say, but...

[He gives a weak smile, letting himself move enough so he's able to place his hands on Sherlock's shoulders, looking into the other man's eyes.]

...despite it all....I find myself actually happy that you were the one who turned out to be my long-lost sibling.

[It's hard to even think of the mess he was making out of their clothes, and for once he wasn't even self-conscious about his lack of warmth. It didn't matter right now, the way James leaned into him, and he refusing to let go, time and propriety didn't matter.

He slowly opens his eyes, lashes reddened by blood as the other man lifts his head, the long snotty sniffles - his now fully green eyes watching, then widening]

James...

[He couldn't even say anything to it, while he had been mostly sniffling and weeping up to this point - he let out a loud, ugly sob at the declaration]

[The smile grows, strengthened into something genuine and sad as he hears that sob, this time going back in for a hug yet again, but more for Sherlock's benefit.]

...The one thing that I was given, in my life...was a deep appreciation for family, regardless of where it comes from.

I truly...mean it, Sherlock. You are the only man who could ever match me, and...well. Though it's been...an odd, long journey...through it all, we still found each other again.

...And perhaps, now....we can be something other than enemies, than detective and criminal.

[He pauses, tears slipping down his own face again as he reflexively tightens his hold on his twin.]

...Perhaps....we can finally just be ourselves.

[Sherlock leans into it, feeling those new sobs bubbling out of him. How long has it been since someone that wasn't a child hugged him, or that he cried like this?

Family... the word didn't have the same meaning since he ran that test, of how things were hidden from him and unsure of what from them he could even trust anymore. Somehow... James' word, he can believe this.

They did find each other, all this time, just missing each other and then now]

Ourselves...

[He repeats, to step out of the box they put themsleves]

We'll see what sort of people we are-

[He stiffens as a sound that sounds suspiciously like a hiccough forced itself out, no doubt induced by the cry fest]

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