[Shadow gulps down everything in his glass before speaking, as if he has to work up the courage. Indeed, he hasn't said it out loud yet. Not even Watanuki knows about this plan yet. He keeps looking into his now empty glass]
I think I need to stay with him. He's all alone, with an indefinite life span ahead of him. And I don't think he's equipped to handle that loneliness. ... I'm the same way. I realized one day, all the people I know right now, with the exception of perhaps one, will be gone. But even Omega... eventually his CPU will corrode, his body will degrade. Nothing lasts forever.
No one really can survive alone... I suppose I'm in a more enviable position than the both of you, while as a Heroic Spirit, I can exist long as people know my name.
But my time is fleeting, only to be aware when I am summoned, and to return when I am defeated. The Foundation's world is an anomaly for me.
[He offers Shadow a pour, before lifting his own glass, lightly swirling it as he watches how the liquid catches the light]
Eternity, and Loneliness, even gods struggle with the concept.
[Shadow accepts Additional Booze(tm) and looks down into it as if it had answers]
Ha. If the human race ever forgets the great Sherlock Holmes... well. I know that won't happen. They keep remaking your stories. [he swirls the liquor] Eternal life always sounds so good, but... those people never actually have to experience it. [and even for Shadow it's still just a vague dread of the future -- he's only been conscious for something like 20 of the 70 years he's been alive] So when you aren't contracted to a mage... you aren't aware of anything?
We're more or less in 'stasis', being a Heroic Spirit meant we're removed from the cycle of reincarnation and time. And each time we're summoned - under normal circumstances, the Heroic Spirit is summoned as if it's the first time we appear after our deaths as living beings, save for whatever knowledge the Grail grants us in order to function in the place and time we're summoned in.
Right.. at the Foundation, you can exist without a master. Maybe... as long as you go right back there, you can remember everything.
[Shadow didn't realize how... well... miserable a Heroic Spirit's life could be. Summoned, used, and then forced to forget it all, only for the cycle to repeat?]
... I won't be going back to the Foundation. Not permanently, anyway. I'll need to break in and collect my things, but... I can't stay there.
I will have to - and I do want to - return to the Chaldea eventually, but there is something I am working on in the Foundation. Unfortunately, it's a "necessary evil" as much as I loathe the term with the SCPs that exist in that world, but it is both unnecessarily and excessively cruel, while being wildly incompetent.
[The man exhales slowly]
I've been gathering information, listening in, it may take time but I want to fix it.
Mmm. Yes. The Foundation reminds me a lot of the people I work for in my own world.. except tens of times more incompetent. It is truly amazing that they have not destroyed their entire timeline.
[actually they have, but HEY. The Foundation has ways to "reverse misfortune" too, as it so happens.]
You'll have a hard road ahead of you. But I think, if you asked, you would have the cooperation of almost all of those brought in by 6350.
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I think I need to stay with him. He's all alone, with an indefinite life span ahead of him. And I don't think he's equipped to handle that loneliness. ... I'm the same way. I realized one day, all the people I know right now, with the exception of perhaps one, will be gone. But even Omega... eventually his CPU will corrode, his body will degrade. Nothing lasts forever.
[Except me.]
no subject
But my time is fleeting, only to be aware when I am summoned, and to return when I am defeated. The Foundation's world is an anomaly for me.
[He offers Shadow a pour, before lifting his own glass, lightly swirling it as he watches how the liquid catches the light]
Eternity, and Loneliness, even gods struggle with the concept.
no subject
Ha. If the human race ever forgets the great Sherlock Holmes... well. I know that won't happen. They keep remaking your stories. [he swirls the liquor] Eternal life always sounds so good, but... those people never actually have to experience it. [and even for Shadow it's still just a vague dread of the future -- he's only been conscious for something like 20 of the 70 years he's been alive] So when you aren't contracted to a mage... you aren't aware of anything?
no subject
We're more or less in 'stasis', being a Heroic Spirit meant we're removed from the cycle of reincarnation and time. And each time we're summoned - under normal circumstances, the Heroic Spirit is summoned as if it's the first time we appear after our deaths as living beings, save for whatever knowledge the Grail grants us in order to function in the place and time we're summoned in.
[Holmes falls silent, peering at his own glass]
no subject
[Shadow looks down]
So when your contract with Watanuki is over... you won't remember any of this...
no subject
[His fingers clenches the glass, seeming to be trembling slightly]
I hope this is one of those exceptions... there are people I do not want to forget.
no subject
[Shadow didn't realize how... well... miserable a Heroic Spirit's life could be. Summoned, used, and then forced to forget it all, only for the cycle to repeat?]
... I won't be going back to the Foundation. Not permanently, anyway. I'll need to break in and collect my things, but... I can't stay there.
no subject
[The man exhales slowly]
I've been gathering information, listening in, it may take time but I want to fix it.
no subject
[actually they have, but HEY. The Foundation has ways to "reverse misfortune" too, as it so happens.]
You'll have a hard road ahead of you. But I think, if you asked, you would have the cooperation of almost all of those brought in by 6350.